Snow Jinx and the Seven Tentacle Monsters 
by KingOfDoma
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This story is a work of fiction by KingOfDoma. KingOfDoma is the sole owner of this fic, and it is his intellectual property. Copying this "fanfiction," in whole or in part, is a violation of this. Please ask permission before using or redistibuting this elsewhere. Thank you. 
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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Snow Jinx! She lived in the castle with her wicked old stepmother, Neko-san! 
One day, the stepmother looked into her magic hentai mag and asked... "Hent mag, hent mag, in my hand, who's the fairest in the land..." 
The mag replied, "Snow Jinx, but I'd take you and a hot German exchange student any day!" 
So, the evil stepmother sent Snow Jinx into the woods. She then asked a burly, yet idiotic woodsman named Ash to go find her and cut out her heart. But when the woodsman found Snow Jinx, he was too dumb and horny for her, and decided to let her go...On a condition we won't mention here. She said she'd do it, but somehow, left him hanging from the highest tree by his underpants. 
Snow Jinx knew she couldn't return to the castle, so she went deeper and deeper into the forest. 
Mmmm... deeper and deeper... 
Uh... anyway... 
Eventually, she found a quaint little shack. She decided to case the joint, and see what she could lift at a later time. She went inside, and found it to be very dirty. Playboys with stuck together pages were on the floor... Discarded condoms held food encrusted cutlery... And the beds were just... well... I'd say, but you may have to burn your retinas for reading it. 
Anyway, Snow Jinx decided to clean the place up. You see, she had accidentally found some rudimentary form of Crystal meth and was jonesin' to scrub some floors with a toothbrush. 
While she cleaned due to a drug induced haze, the owners of the house worked happily at the local Japanese city, terrorizing some Japanese school girl filled busses. 
They were the Seven Tentacle Monsters! 
There was Pokey, who liked to prod before penetration... 
Rapey, who simply went for it... whether or not there was a hole there... 
Molesty, who rubbed you all over, then got you all over... 
Orgy, who ALWAYS liked to 'help' two other monsters when they were having trouble... 
Hentai, who liked to take pictures and post them on his site at www.seventmonsters.com 
Ecchi, the black sheep, who liked to romance the girls with flowers and candy beforehand... 
And little Yaoi, who simply liked men better!
Once there work was done, the monsters trudged home, singing their little song... 
"A ho, a ho, Five bucks and down, she'll go!" 
When they returned home, they found little Snow Jinx, who had since crashed and passed out on the kitchen floor. 
Rapey: Let's rape her. 
Pokey: Let's Poke her. 
Orgy: I'll help. 
Yaoi: Does she have a penis? 
Molesty: I just want to feel her a little bit. 
Eechi: Let's cook her dinner .....then screw her. 
Hentai: *taking pictures of her panties*
But when they saw she was strung out on meth, they decided not to do her... for they didn't want to get any of her crack whore diseases... When she woke, she was so happy that they didn't do her, she decided to stay... 
And so it was. For months Snow Jinx worked for the tentacles, cooking their meals, washing their crusty socks, posting phony want ads in the paper to lure Japanese schoolgirls come to see if a maid job was available... 
But foul play was afoot. The evil queen was bored one day, and decided to look once again into her magic hent mag. 
She asked, "Hent mag, hent mag, in my hand, NOW who's the fairest in the land?" 
It responded by, "Well, it's still Snow Jinx, but I'd still bend you over and make you make sounds that'd lure babboons!" 
The evil queen was furious! She decided to take matters into her own hands. She went to her B&D emporium in her basement to find a disguise. She found an appropriate disguise and went to find Snow Jinx. 
Meanwhile, Snow Jinx was happily cleaning the front step of the hut, for Molesty had gotten plastered last night, and made a mess on it just before stumbling inside. All of a sudden, a woman in a large faux fur coat, hooker boots, and a pimp hat approached Snow Jinx... 
"Hey sweet stuff," the woman said. "Care to join with the hottest female pimp in the land?" 
"Oh, that's alright..." Snow Jinx replied. "My tentacle monster buddies get me all the johns I need!" 
"Well that's too bad, honey, cuz you'd look sweet in my entourage..." replied the pimp queen. "If you don't wanna join me, you wanna at least take me up on this offer?" she said, pulling out a bottle of pills. 
Snow Jinx drooled and nodded in response. She hadn't gotten high in days, and she was hankering for it. Without asking, Snow Jinx downed all the pills in one gulp. 
The pimp queen laughed and said, "You crazy ho! There was enough tranquilizer to down a behemoth!" Snow Jinx hit the floor like a sack of wet oatmeal. 
The pimp queen laughed, and ran away, flipping the bird to the worried t-monsters. 
Pokey: Is she dead? 
Molesty: WHOA! I ain't into necrophilia! 
Eechi: Mean neither..... 
Yaoi: *playing with "Squid with feet"action figure* 
Hentai: *taking pictures of Yaoi*
Then Rapey, the bright one of the bunch, picked up a magazine that advertised cryogenic freezing, and got an idea. 
Rapey: Let's Rape her!
He then thought HARDER and got a new idea... 
Rapey: Let's freeze her, THEN rape her! I've never tried it when they were cold! 
Molesty: Isn't that like necrophilia?? 
Rapey: I dunno. I still wanna try it. 
Yaoi: Let's put an ad in the paper for a prince charming and when the bish shows up...RAPE HIM! 
Yaoi: ^___________^
Everyone thought this was a good idea. Yaoi had earned some extra points on everyone's list since he got Lynn Minmei to show up at the house. So, they tried to put an ad in the paper. But they weren't very good at it. 
They went through fifteen boys choirs, six carpet cleaner services and a large pepperoni pizza before finally finding a prince. His name was Prince Charles, and he wasn't very fond of the tentacle monsters. He kept saying, "You guys just better keep away from my butt, and get me that princess booty, a'ight?" 
Yaoi: *checking out Charles* The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. 
Yaoi: *drools*
The prince approached the princess, wishing to bestow the kiss of life upon her. He then saw how skankily she was dressed. He asked the t-monsters why she was gussied up like a ten cent lady of the night. "I see a nipple!' he kept proclaiming." 
The tentacle monsters all shrugged and said, 'She looks best this way.' The prince shrugged and planted a wet one on her. As Snow Jinx stirred, she returned the kiss. She then slipped him the tongue and dragged him into the nearest closet. They were in there for five hours before the prince fell out, completely naked and covered with bitemarks. Snow Jinx emerged saying, "Wow. He really can't take a good chomp, can he?" 
Snow Jinx then dragged the prince to the nearest chapel and married him! 
After two weeks, the marriage was annuled due to the fact that somewhere along the way, Snow Jinx filled Prince Charles with novocaine and the courts deemed him unable to make normal decisions. Eventually, Charles married Snow Jinx's stepmother. But it was only for power, and he kept seeing Snow Jinx in any sleazy motel he could find. 
And the tentacle monsters were given their own high school in Kyoto. 
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!