Little Red Riding Mage 
by Nekogami
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Dedicated to AM who has endured the DOM. 
This story is a work of fiction by Nekogami. Nekogami is the sole owner of this fic, and it is her intellectual property. Copying this "fanfiction," in whole or in part, is a violation of this. Please ask permission before using or redistibuting this elsewhere. Thank you. 
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Once upon a time there was a little bishounen mage. He loved he Grand Tutor so that he always emailed him at least twice a day. So this little mage was saddened to hear that his Grand Tutor got syphillis. "I'll come right over!" He emailed and put on his red robes. I'll bring him some TV dinners....If I cook, I'll probably kill him sooo, " the little mage dropped some Stouffer's and Sara Lee in a basket and headed for his Grand Tutor's cottage across the forest. 
As he walked the path to his GrandTutor's cottage he was stopped by a Dirty Old Man. 
"Hello little Red Riding Mage, " the Dirty Old Man said with a drool. 
"What?! I AM NOT A RED MAGE!!!" the mage exclaimed. 
"Oh, sorry, my sweet, delectible, attractive, muscular....little bish," the old man said drawing progressively closer. 
"DUDE! Get away before I freeze you!" the mage raised his hands. " I know Aboslute Zero and I'm not afraid to use it!" 
"Oh, well, sorry. SO......where are you headed?" asked the Dirty Old Man 
" I'm going to my Grand Tutor's cottage. He's come down with a nasty case of syphillis and I'm bringing him some TV dinners. Why?" 
"Because I'm going to rap...er...rest here and I didn't want you to worry." 
The mage was suspicious and decided he better get along before he found himself in a compromising postion. "Uh, yeah, well...I'm going to go now...Bye." The mage broke off into a dead run. 
The Dirty Old Man however knew every shortcut in the forest and for an old man he could book it when bishounen ass was involved. The Dirty Old Man made it to the cottage and burst in. "MOVE IT! I'm gonna get me some BOOTAY!" The Grand Tutor tried to fight the Dirty Old Man but the syphillis had weakened him greatly. The Dirty Old Man took off his clothes and shoved him into a closet. "Now I'll just wait here..." He drooled. "Mmmmmm, bishoooouuuneeeeen." 
The little red...er mage in the red cloak made it to the cottage panting since he had run. "Damn ...scary ...old ...man ...that ...smelled ...like ...day ...old ...cabbage!" The mage went into the house and put downt he basket. "Oh Grand Tutor, I made it!" 
"Come in, sweet cheeks." said the Dirty Old Man. 
The mage walked over to the bed. "Grand Tutor? What a wrinkly face you have." 
"You know what they say, sex gets better with age, so I sped up the process." 
"Grand Tutor, what few teeth you have?....Actually you have none!" 
" It's so my teeth won't get in the way." The Dirty Old Man winked. 
"Grand Tutor...why do you...smell like cabbage?" 
"Uh...I had it for lunch?" 
"...Wait a minute...you are my Grand Tutor! You're that damned Dirty Old Man who wants to rape me!" the mage exclaimed. 
The Dirty Old Man jumped up and glomped the mage. "THAT'S RIGHT! Now come on and make sweet Yaoi love to me! 
The mage screamed like a little girl! "NO NO NO!!! YAOI JA NAI! YAOI JA NAI!" But the Dirty Old Man was persistent. 
"Come on! Just a little kissy! I'll even be the catcher, you can pitch!" 
But the mage would have none of it. "NONONONONONO~! ABSOLUTE ZERO!!!" In a flash the Dirty Old Man was a Dirty Old Man-sicle. The Mage was relieved. 
Suddenly the mages Grand Tutor fell out of the closet. "Grand Tutor!" The mage exclaimed. "Are you all right?" 
"I'm fine, Hakaril. But what do you plan to do with that....that...Dirty Old Man?" 
And what did Hakaril have planned...well, I can't tell you but...they say that if you get lost at YaoiCon you might see him trying to rape all the blue haired bishounen...and that's all I'll say. 
The End