Hot Rod Lincoln
    ( Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen )

    My pappy said, "Son, 
	you worthless hippy
	you shameless drug fiend
	you no good alcoholic
	you commie punk!
	you're gonna' drive me to drinkin'
    If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln"

    Tell you this story of the Hot Rod Race
    When Fords and Lincolns was settin' the pace.
    That story is true, I'm here to say
    I was drivin' that Model A

    It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up
    That Model A Vitimix makes it look like a pup
    It's got eight cylinders, uses them all
    It's got overdrive, just won't stall

    With a four-barrel carb and a dual exhaust
    And four-eleven gears you can really get lost
    It's got safety tubes, but I ain't scared
    The brakes are good, tires fair

    Well I pulled out of L.A. late one night
    The moon and the stars was shinin' bright
    We was drivin' up Grapevine Hill
    Passing cars like they was standing still

    All of a sudden in a wink of an eye
    A Cadillac sedan passed me by
    I said, "Boys, that's a mark for me!"
    By then the tail light was all you could see

    Now the boys was ribbin' me for bein' behind
    So I thought I'd make the Lincoln unwind
    Took my foot off the gas and man alive
    I shoved it on down into overdrive

    Wound it up to a hundred and ten
    My speedometer said that I hit top end
    My foot was glued like lead to the floor
    That's all there is and there ain't no more

    Now, everyone all thought I'd lost my sense
    And telephone poles looked like a picket fence
    They said, "Slow down! I see spots!"
    The lines on the road just look like dots

    Took a corner; sideswiped a truck
    Crossed my fingers just for luck
    My fenders was clickin' the guardrail posts
    The guy beside me was white as a ghost

    Smoke was comin' from out of the back
    When I started to gain on that Cadillac.
    Knew I could catch him, I thought I could pass
    Don't you know by then I'd be outta gas?

    We had flames comin' from out of the side
    Feel the tension, Man! What a ride!
    I said, "Look out, boys, I've got a license to fly!"
    And that Caddy pulled over and let us by

    Now all of a sudden she started to knockin'
    And down in the dips she started to rockin'
    I looked in my mirror; a red light was blinkin'
    The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln!

	The police;
	The california highway patrol;
	The entire Los Angelos police department;
	The entire fire department ;
	The national guard;
	Half the army;
	The border patrol;
	They had me down against the wall,
	They had me down on the ground,
	And they handcuffed, they beat me,
	And they tortured me.

	But they missed--
	The pound of cocaine I had in my glove department.
	And they missed--
	The six tons of ash I had in my backseat.
	And don't forget about the ten
	Illegal Mexican immigrants
	I was smuggling into the country.

	No friends they had missed all that,
	You know what they thought?
	They thought I was
	Some sort of pervo, wierdo SLA punk.
	It was very embarrassing!
	And I showed up at my house
	With black scars all over my body--
	They thought I'd been to some sort of S&M party.

    They arrested me and they put me in jail
    And called my pappy to throw my bail
    And he said, "Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin'
    If you don't stop drivin' that Hot ... Rod ... Lincoln!"